RAISED A JW
The change in weather and a few surprise blasts have gotten me thinking about the past and the constant need for change.
Change never stops, some people fear it but it is necessary. We don’t always realise life is changing, but when we stop and look back over our lives we can see the landmarks of time that have often set us in a different direction.
At 14, I was a baptised Jehovah’s Witness. I was born into the religion and I attended regular meetings with my mother and sisters for the best part of my first 20 years. My dad lived with us but was not a JW.
It didn’t bother me that I didn’t celebrate Xmas, birthdays or other celebrations. But I knew in my heart that I didn’t believe in the religion, nor did I particularly like the people within it.
I hated knocking your door on a weekend morning, but the promise that I had been given was that if I was obedient to God, I would live forever on a paradise earth… I was also told that death was akin to a deep sleep and that those who had passed away would be resurrected… I was also told that thousands living, (since 1914) would never die… Those promises keep many people striving to appease a God via appointed Elders who oversee their flock through their version of the bible.
One day I realised I didn’t want to live forever in a paradise earth with people I didn’t like. Explanations and expectations didn’t sit well with me and the concept of death was quite intriguing, but how could I leave…? Leaving meant that I would lose my family and friends. I managed it and I later wrote a letter of disassociation to the governing body of the organisation. I did lose my family and friends but I’ve never looked back.
I started from scratch, built a real relationship with my dad and learned about life. I became a mother and carved out a nice life. From a far I heard about Witnesses who died and realised that the promised new paradise earth was suspiciously similar to a new world order…
I’ve learned that it is a good idea to question everything, especially the matters concerning YOUR life and death.
We will be discussing this and so much more on Thursday evenings 1900-2030.
Register your space through Dipism.com under the article Let’s Talk About Death.
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ALL CHANGE
In 2009 I resigned from my job on the Underground as a Train Driver on the Bakerloo Line. I had done 11 years already and I knew that I had to make a change when, one day a colleague of mine, same age and rank, excitedly informed me of the fact that we only had 32 years left until we retired.
The statement set my head in a spin and the walls started to feel as though they were closing in. Not the best feeling when you are at the front of the train in a dark tunnel. I loved my job and the people I worked with but I had to go.
Getting out of the job was not as easy as one might think. No one quits the Underground but my determination was fuelled by my Me Too experience and the fact that I didn’t want to progress to management levels. I had driven a train (my dream) and it was time to leave.
I had two young children, a mortgage, a car and debts. People thought I was crazy, how can you leave that salary? Free travel and those holidays? I was told I couldn’t afford to leave and the fear of others was real. What will you do next, how will you survive?
I left. I did survive. Sure I had tough times, but I live. I walked away because I could. I learned that the fear of others keeps us in place. Fear of judgement, failure and shame can stop us in our tracks. And when you are safe and comfortable you are open to slaps that can knock you off your feet.
Are you living your life or pleasing someone else?
We will be discussing this and so much more on Thursday evenings 1900-2030.
Register your space through Dipism.com under the article Let’s Talk About Death.
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LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND
In 2013 I moved from South London to West Yorkshire and have lived here ever since. Could I live back in London? I very much doubt it.
You know, when I left, a close friend at the time said “If you leave London you will never come back…” Well that was an ominous comment… Did she mean I wouldn’t be welcome… moreso I suspect that she was saying that I could never afford to return.
If I had stayed in London I know I would have lost my mind. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, a breakdown is a breakthrough, but I felt like I was suffocating and I needed to breathe. I worried for my son and I realised I didn’t know my children. I needed a break and my health was failing, once again it was time to go…
I left London and I’ve never looked back. I have a quaint little house, a forest behind my garden, a canal and tranquility. I am living and laughing as opposed to existing and struggling. My relationship with my children is actual bliss now and I have found my calling.
Sometimes you just have to move!
Within this lifetime I am embarking on my 4th new start and I love the fact that life really can be as changeable as that. I can’t lie, it’s been bumpy AF, but being fixed to one spot (or one person) can really limit your life experience.
That is why I advocate for people to live before they die.
We will be discussing this and so much more on Thursday evenings 1900-2030.
Register your space through Dipism.com under the article Let’s Talk About Death.
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MIND THE GAP
A lady I was introduced to on Linkedin was doing similar work to me in the fields of dying death and grief. Unfortunately she had to throw the towel in because she had given it her all but no one wants to really make time in their lives for chats about death or workplace adjustments for grief.
I have felt the pinch as I forward my two death related businesses, but thankfully I have managed to keep going after that carrot that dangles precariously in front of my nose.
In October I started working as an independent Funeral Arranger with the online funeral company Fenix. I have learned so much and I feel this work has filled in many gaps for me as I continue to round out my knowledge of the funeral industry. I also scored a beautiful job as a Bereavement Counselor with Mind, this is amazing for me because I never thought that an established organisation would recognise my abilities and potential. My biggest advancement yet is…