As we encounter death, we also encounter grief. Although we experience grief so many times in our lives for varying reasons, the grief experienced through death, and the anticipation of death is the focus of D.I.P.ism therapy.
The ways in which our grief is expressed has an impact upon our mental, physical and emotional health. However the act of grieving is often socially shunned and at times even feared by our loved ones because no one seems to know how to respond to expressions of grief.
We are not taught how to deal with grief, we are seldom prepared for it and we can find ourselves feeling quite lost when someone we love dies. Grief touches all of our emotions, it is unique and fluctuates in intensity from person to person. As a result, it can be quite hard to recognise the grief in ourselves or another.
We are taught how to hide our emotions and keep going, strong and determined at all costs and if we are unable to maintain even a pretence of outward strength, social systems kick in, designed to get the griever back on their feet. However, such systems of grief service provision are not designed for everyone so they are not always effective. At times they can be quite damaging especially if facilitated by people with a lack of social or cultural awareness of the challenges that are accompanied or indeed instigated by the grief.
How then, do we express our grief?
Let’s first be conscious of our grief. If we can locate it we can learn how to nurture and heal it. With conscious awareness we can feel our grief and determine what we need in order to restore the balance of emotional, mental and physical health.
Next, let’s draw our attention to the items we have around us. Those we have loved and lost to death have lived a life. Our loved ones have embodied an identity filled with likes and dislikes. Together we have loved and laughed, cried, sung and grown. Their personal items are likely to carry memories or truths that our hearts are able to identify them through, as though they are still by our side. Let’s carry our loved ones into our future by taking those items and repurposing them. Let’s tell the story of our loved ones through the gifts they have left behind.
Regardless of the length of time our loved ones have lived, they have brought something special to our lives that we can share with the world. We are each a piece of a massive jigsaw and their piece remains even when they are no longer physically with us because they existed in our conscious awareness. Let’s make meaning out of their lives so that they can continue to inspire others to be their best.
Identifying our grief is the first step to healing the wound left by the passing of a loved one. Memorialising the lives of our loved ones is a healthy way of coming to a point of acceptance over their death. Actively sharing that which we have learned about our loved ones whether through their lives or our loss will ultimately help others to form a new awareness of their own mortality and, perhaps, better prepare themselves for the events of death that we have all come to earth to experience.