More and more people are speaking about grief. Following the Covid19 pandemic and events that have taken place on the social stage; more attention is now focused on death, dying and our grief. There are many defined types of grief and everyone copes with their losses in different ways. At times it is easy to think that we are going mad or are somehow ‘doing’ it wrong.
Often when speaking to people about their grief, I am met with apologies of weakness. There is nothing weak about grief. In fact it is testament to the strength of the love you shared and the level of loss you now experience. Let’s discuss the definitions of grief, mourning and bereavement before we delve deeper into the stages of grief.
Death
Death marks the last exhalation of breath. At this time, there is no more activity within the body that will nurture the spirit within. Now compromised, normal bodily functions can not occur and the body continues it’s process without animation. Dying is the physical act that our bodies will perform, it is as natural as living… and it’s okay.
Spirit
Our spirit animates the physical body, it is our get up and go, our motivation; and our will to carry on. Our personalities are made up of so many characteristics and traits that are passed down through our bloodlines. As we socialise with others we develop learned behaviours; and our selves are also comprised of the many experiences we have during our lifetimes. Your spirit is the essence of you, and when you make your transition through death, it is your spirit that people will miss the most. You are beautiful and unique, there is no one quite like you.
Grief
This is the pain from suffering that is experienced when you have lost something important to you or a loved one. Grief affects every aspect of ones life and it manifests in different ways for everyone. No one can say when it will strike and no one can say when it will end. Grief embodies a range of emotions that can leave you feeling exhausted. It is possible to grieve for someone you never knew and it is possible to grieve for a loved one, even decades after they have gone.
Mourning
The mourning period is the length of time within which our grief is made manifest on a visual level. Those who know us, know we are grieving and we are given the time we need to come to terms with our loss. The time of mourning is recognised most commonly from the moment the death has occurred. However it is not uncommon to mourn before your loss has occurred and it is possible to mourn the loss of relationships and careers. You could say that this is the period of adjustment for those who have experienced loss.
Bereavement
You are bereaved if you have lost the close relationship of a friend or loved one. The term bereavement is regularly used to describe the period of mourning. To be acknowledged as the bereaved is to lose a relationship of significance. One doesn’t necessarily experience grief symptoms, nor a period of adjustment if bereft. Likewise, the circumstances under which bereavement is made manifest do not always stem from death.
D.I.Pism
At D.I.P.ism (Death in Practice) we provide support and guidance through every aspect of death. This is a transition and our lives are made of them. As the final breath in each lifetime is a significant transition for us all, we take the time to guide people from the point of their own personal perspective.
Regardless of the time following your loss, if you know that you would benefit from some guidance at this time, contact us. This is what we are here for.