NAVIGATING GRIEF AT WORK
When attempting to offer my services to corporate clients, I was told that corporations are not so much interested in tackling the subject of grief on the level that I was suggesting because support for grief is free.
Grief falls under the category of mental health and yes, if grief is not addressed it can affect one’s mental and indeed physical health. Surely then, this will affect the office environment where currently an estimated 15.4 million working days are lost due to depression, stress and anxiety.
My support is not free, it’s high quality and provides personalised guidance and therapy for those who are finding their feet following the loss of a loved one. In the spirit of giving back I also volunteer as a bereavement counsellor on the Cruse helpline which of course is free, however I have found that my service is predominantly appreciated by older white women.
This leads me to wonder how everyone else is dealing with their grief?
I have helped so many people to come to a point of acceptance as they work through their grief and consider different aspects of their loss from different perspectives. I empower people to carry on living and find ways to keep their loved one alive in their hearts.
No I am not free, but I know that the service I provide is priceless.
Let’s talk
.
MANAGING GRIEF AT WORK
Whilst I offer therapy and guidance for those employed within the working sectors, I often notice that time isn’t allotted to managers who are in place to oversee the needs of their staff with regard to their grief.
As of May 2022 it is estimated that between 14.7 and 24.9 million deaths have occurred due to the Covid-19 pandemic worldwide. Surely those deaths have had a knock on effect on the people related to them, those who have loved them, cared for them and of course been prevented from saying their last goodbyes.
Not only are we navigating the loss of our loved ones, we are also encountering the secondary losses of their emotional support and contribution to family life, their income and their practical ability, love and guidance.
How are such losses navigated when bills still need to be paid, children need to be parented and work demands build up due to time lost through grief and adjustment?
My services address the secondary losses as well as the initial shock that is regularly encountered when a loved one dies. I wonder though, how do managers manage when someone within their team finds themselves in a situation of bereavement…
I work with managers to help them to understand the needs of their staff when dealing with grief.
.
HANDS OFF AT WORK
In my textbook, Tapestries of Grief, I speak of the delicate balance needed when dealing with death in the workplace.
This is a scary subject within the office space because there is only so much emotional support that can be provided.
We may find ourselves battling such thought processes as:
- I only go to work, to work and earn a wage…
- Words or gestures of support can be so easily misconstrued…
- There is a whole team to manage…
- I don’t feel qualified to speak of death and emotions…
- This situation is too close to home…
Can we really afford to care in this day and age?
At times it can feel like there is so much at stake when someone is emotionally low in the workplace and although we may be aware that it is due to a bereavement, we might not know what to say for the better. Whether we are managing the team or are a part of the team, it is hard to know what actions to take apart from offering our respects for those who have died.
I run workshops to help groups of people discuss death openly and understand the impact that death has on an individual, a family, a community, a workplace and within society.
When someone dies, we all feel it.
.
OFFERING SUPPORT AT WORK
I was recently told an experience a friend observed at work.
An Asian lady had lost her son to Covid-19 and he had been buried very soon after. Unfortunately the lady in question had lost her husband some years prior, and everyone in the workplace knew how much she doted on her one son. She would often bring tasty dishes into the office that everyone heartily enjoyed and she was the gentle shoulder of support when others at work were facing their own personal issues. However, back at work she was noticeably struggling, although she continued to fulfil her obligations, her inner light appeared to have diminished.
No one knew what to say or do and due to a lack of awareness around her cultural commitments, no one felt adequately able to offer support.
One day my friend and her colleagues were discussing the situation, it was something everyone had wanted to discuss but were too fearful to even speak of openly amongst themselves.
“Oh, surely she will have family at home helping her…”
“It’s really none of our business…”
“Maybe she should speak to someone…”
“I don’t want to upset her though…”
“I’m scared of death…”
My friend asked me what I would do and I offered some suggestions:
- Invite her out to lunch and ask her how she is doing.
- Ask her how you can support her though this time.
- Ask who is providing comfort at home.
- Ask her questions about her precious son…
- Remember crying is natural, allow time for her tears.
You don’t have to be an expert to show that you care. No one expects you to have all of the answers. There are often no words that can comfort someone who has lost a loved one but at least let them know that you are there and ready to listen if they wish to talk.
It also helps to be open about your own experiences and find a level from which you can both relate to the similarities of life.
If you would like more information on how you can help a colleague at work DM me, contact me through www.dipism.com or purchase Tapestries of Grief, this textbook explains grief and the ways in which it is manifested throughout our lives.